The Amazing Black Karnak of the MEAC presents…. 

Football Predictions for October 1-2

MEAC 

Did you hear the rumor that the Howard quarterback is dumb?

HOW DUMB IS HE?

He makes straight A’s, but his B’s are sort of crooked.

Howard at Charleston Southern – I think Howard can beat these boys.  They crushed them last year, and Howard wasn’t even that good.  Then again, Charleston Southern wasn’t that good either, but they haven’t appeared to get any better and Howard…well… Nevermind.  I’m going to base this win on scientific research.  The C.S. Buccaneers lost to the Presbyterian Blue Hose earlier this year. Have you ever seen a Bison try on Blue panty hose?  It’s not a pretty sight.  They would rip them up.  Therefore, if the Bison would tear a new hole in the Blue Hose, then it stands to reason that they would do the same to a bunch of Buccaneers who lost to a panty-hose wearing team.

Howard by 10

Coastal Carolina at SCSU – I would like to see SCSU win this one, but I have to revert back to scientific research on this one.  I was on my wife’s grandfather’s farm many years ago and I saw a rooster chasing a dog out of the hen house.  The rooster was pecking the heck out of the dog and the dog was running around like crazy.  He went in there confident and came out punked.  Also, Foghorn Leghorn normally gets the best of the guard dog.  I hope I’m wrong about this, but for now…

Coastal Carolina by 9

Morgan St at BCC – BCC’s only loss is to SCST. That’s respectable. MSU’s only win is to Savannah State.   That’s disrespectful. The Wildcats will have an easier time with da Bears than they did with the Spartans.  The only reason I’ll be watching this game closely is to help me determine a winner next week in the game between the lowly Bears and Aggies.

By the way, BCC folks – who is Cookman?  Was sweet mother Mary tippin’ or something?  Is Cookman like the “uncle” who the school was named after but none of the children are ever allowed to talk about him?

BCC by 14

Breaking News: A&T coach reports that his team has a drug problem.  Every time they go onto the field, they get drug from one end to the other!

NCAT at Tennessee State – Two terrible teams. Tennessee Tigers are less terribler than “T”.  Anticipate a ten-ten tie into the third and then the Tigers turn out to be triumphant by attacking T and attaining a touchdown with two minutes and twenty-two seconds left in the game. You heard it here first.

Tennessee Tuxedo by 7

Delaware St at Hampton – The last time the Pirates lost a regular season game was against the Hornets.  The last time the Pirates lost at home was in 2003.  Last year’s win makes the Hornets horny for some more Pirate booty, but the Pirates will protect their house at all cost.  The Pirates have not forgotten or forgiven DSU for stinging them last year in what many call a “soiled/waterlogged” win.  The Pirates aren’t going to be so nice this year.  Expect no wet field, no moisture, no dampness, no lubricant of any kind.  Expect no mercy.

Hampton by 32

Savannah St at Norfolk St – Norfolk’s motto: “We don’t smoke, don’t drink, Nor-folk.”  What’s that have to do with football?  Nothing.  Although I was impressed by NSU’s showing last week, this game doesn’t have anything to do with football either.

NSU by 17

FAMU at Florida International – Finally, a Florida school that FAMU can beat! But wait a minute, FAMU was one of the 3 teams the Panthers beat last year.  Darn you, FAMU!  Things are complicated now.  Will the real FAMU please show up? You are giving the Amazing Karnak of the MEAC a major headache trying to figure this one out.

FAMU by 3

SWAC

Texas Southern at Alabama A&M – I’m picking an easy win because I need to start pulling away from Meackie and his illegitimate mother, Crown Royal (AKA Dr. MEAC) and show my greatness.  It’s going on 2 years since Texas Southern has won a game.  Don’t expect that to change during this game.

CIAA

WSSC at Fayetteville – That reminds me, I have to pay my water bill.  WSSC (Washington Suburban Sanitary Commission) doesn’t play.  Who knew they had a football team?  Another sad day for the MEAC.  Next thing you know, we’ll be letting PEPCO (the electric company) join the MEAC.

SIAC

Miles at Fort Valley St – Miles 0-4; FVS 4-1.  Years ago I went to a Jazz Festival and Mr. Davis turned the place out.  If he can do it in a concert hall, he can also do it in the Valley.  Miles will finally blow that trumpet and make its namesake proud this weekend.  

Miles by 9

INDEPENDENT

Millersville at Cheyney – 126-0.  That’s the total combined score of the Millersville/Cheyney games since 2002.  So let’s talk about something else.  Did you know Cheyney is the oldest HBCU?  Founded in 1837.  Well-known alumni include Ed Bradley of “60 minutes”; Robert W. Bogle, publisher and CEO of the Philadelphia Tribune, the oldest newspaper continuously owned an operated by an African American; Gladys Styles Johnston, Chancellor of the University of Nebraska at Kearney; Congressman Curt Weldon who represents the 7th Congressional District (which includes Chester and Delaware Counties); State Representative Michael Horsey who represents the 190th district in Philadelphia County; State Representative Thaddeus Kirkland who represents the 159th district in Delaware County; Robert L. Woodson, Founder and President of the National left for Neighborhood Enterprise (NCNE), Washington, D.C.; Samuel J. Patterson, CEO of Shepard Patterson Systems and Information Consulting Firm; and Ambassador (retired) Joseph M. Segars.  They also had a couple of nice parties I used to frequent “back in the day.”  Oh well, seeing that they are the oldest HBCU, I tried to find something good to say them before I drop the bomb: