Dr. MEAC (aka KING MEAC)

Football Predictions for September 8-10

Dr. MEAC is many things.

Dr. MEAC is smart.

Dr. MEAC is charming.

Dr. MEAC is psuedo-omnipotent.

Dr. MEAC is “brave.”

Dr. MEAC is not perfect … all of the time.

Last week, Dr.MEAC had a few games go the wrong way but Dr. MEAC is not easily discouraged. Dr. MEAC is, after all, “brave.”

Let us get right to this week’s picks, predictions, and prognostications.

SIAC

For our SIAC game of the week, we travel down to the state that gave us Bart Starr, Satchell Paige, and one of LaWanda Page’s baby-daddies: Alabama. This game features a school named after a surly jazz legend and last year’s SWAC champion. That is right ladies and gentlemen (and jdbison), Dr. MEAC will tell you who is going to win the Miles-Tuskegee game.

Tuskegee rules the SIAC like darkness rules the night.

The Pea-nutters big over the muted trumpets.

WINNER: Tuskegee

CIAA

Our CIAA game of the week features Dr. MEAC’s new favorite MEAC school, North Carolina Central as they take on Lenoir-Rhyne in Hickory, North Ca- …. Just a second. Let Dr. MEAC get this straight. The new darlings of the imminent MEAC expansion draft is playing against a school called Lenoir-Rhynes? Wasn’t she some sort of child country music singer years ago? A sort of redneck Aliyah?

Oh brother!

Dr. MEAC’s new favorite team in the whole wide world will not disappoint (unlike some other aspiring MEACers).

WINNER: NCCU

SWAC

The SWAC game of the week shines the spotlight on Dr. MEAC’s homies from Itta Bena in a game that will set the SWAC on its back … ear … whatever. The Delta Devils, fresh off of their upset of last year’s SWAC Cinderella UAPB in Chicago, prepare to host the SWAC school that everybody loves to hate (and finds so easy to do) in the form of the animal abusers from Southern. Valley is enjoying a lot of attention these days with the win last week and this week’s news that former Devil wide-out Jerry Rice is retiring from the NFL to return to Valley with approximately two months of eligibility left (something about an obscure leisure curl redshirt).

Dr. MEAC likes the new SWAC Cinderella and loves the absence of long-term commitment.

WINNER: MVSU

For this week’s miscellaneous game, Dr. MEAC was considering the Palmetto Capital City Classic but, upon realizing that this game featured Benedict and Johnson C. Smith, Dr. MEAC spent too much time wondering what crack head crook of a promoter decided to call this turkey of a game a “classic” to be able to make a prediction (besides, they both suck so what’s the point?).

Dr. MEAC was also thinking about a game between Elon and a school that Dr. MEAC used to like before that school dropped a game to the aforementioned lame-o’s from Benedict like the University of Miami’s Devin Hester drops punts … and passes … and interceptions. No, Dr. MEAC is too upset with a certain school to even type their accursed names. No one makes a fool of Dr. MEAC and gets away with it!!!

Pardon Dr. MEAC.

This week’s miscellaneous game is the Beale Street Strip Club Classic between the Blue Bungles of Jackson State and the Tiger Belles of Tennessee State. This used to be a game that Dr. MEAC could get excited about but Dr. MEAC used to get excited about Jane Kennedy and now look at how big she has gotten (she makes John Madden look like a super model). This match-up really lacks anything to get excited about. Thus, Dr. MEAC hereby dubs this game as this week’s AFTER-PARTY SPECIAL because folks will get their money’s worth by using the game as a chance to start the pre-club “networking” early.

WINNER: JSU

MEAC

One of the more entertaining match-ups on this week’s slate takes us to Washington, D.C. (dope and crack). In this battle of “Who’s the Real HU,” both the Pirates and the Bison are undefeated after knocking off two division II opponents the previous week. Hampton is the defending league champions and they are led by the legendary Joe Taylor of Willie Tyler and Lester Fame. Howard is practically leaderless and is due to stage one of their regular big-game melt-downs.

Dr. MEAC, however, sees past all of that crap that his team of researchers put on his desk after lunch. Dr. MEAC was not impressed with Hampton’s lackluster win in the Kwame Kilpatrick Baby-Gotta-Eat Classic last week. Dr. MEAC was, on the other hand, pleasantly surprised by the spunk and moxie displayed by Howard in their win over one of the schools involved in the MEAC expansion sweepstakes.

Dr. MEAC likes Howard in a mild upset.

WINNER: HU [wink wink]

While the previous game featured teams that beat last week’s division II opponents, this next match-up pits a pair of pansies that embarrassed themselves, embarrassed their families, embarrassed the conference, and embarrassed Dr. MEAC and his picks with pathetic losses to their D2 foes.

Ordinarily, such circumstances would make it very difficult for Dr. MEAC to pick a winner but one of the teams is the always-sorrier-than-a-sack-of-Nixons Norfolk State Spartans.

WINNER: NCAT

Our next game finds a happy and increasingly confident Delaware State Hornet team hosting what appears to be an all-star team from a brewing company. I like the host Hornets to continue what they started in Tallahassee last week.

WINNER: DSU

In our latest SWAC-MEAC battle, the still embarrassed Flaming Lions of Arkansas’ Pine Bluff campus travel to the remote confines of Daytona Beach’s Municipal Stadium to take on Bethune-Cookman in rematch of last year’s Alpha72-Vinita Cat Fight Classic. In 2004, the Wildcats traveled up to the home of Maya Angelou and about three of Bill Clinton’s love children to prove to UAPB head coach Mo Forte that you can take the man out of Norfolk but you can’t the stench of losing out of the man.

Although B-CC struggled against their division II guest last week, that still beats getting hammered by – of all schools – Valley like the Pine Puffs did last week.

WINNER: B-CC

Dr. MEAC likes to eat and eat well. Thus, this next match-up appeals to Dr. MEAC. Morgan State and Bowie State square off in the SpongeBob Squarepants Crabby Patty Classic in Baltimore. Basically, Dr. MEAC is not very interested in this game outside of the food angle and the fact that Bowie can – with a win – leap frog any of the two MEAC-wannabe’s that are winless so far this year into the MEAC Expansion Sweepstakes (Dr. MEAC was not joking with you people – the absolute authority of Dr. MEAC will not be challenged!!!).

WINNER: MSU

Right now, the hottest team in the MEAC is the team that always waits for someone else to get the inside (and virtually uncatch-able) track for the league title before they get hot: S. C. State. This year, Coach Buddy Pough has the Bulldogs working on all cylinders early as Alabama State found out the hard way in the glorified high school stadium that is Birmingham’s Legion Field.

The Bulldogs are looking so good, in fact, that Dr. MEAC will not even bother to mention the name of the team that they will destroy at home this weekend.

WINNER: SCSU

Finally, we come to the obligatory Sacrificial-Lamb-For-No-Good-Reason game of the week: FAMU at South Florida. Basically, this game looks so bad that Dr. MEAC would rather wonder aloud how a school in Tampa got to call itself South Florida. Dr. MEAC suggests that young people in the online reading audience avoid majoring in geography at USF. Dr. MEAC also suggests to young people in the online reading audience to stay the heck away from the playing field of Raymond James Stadium this Saturday if they are wearing green and orange (there’s not that much insurance in the world).

WINNER: USF

Thank you. You’ve been great.

I am Dr. MEAC and I need a drink.